The page cannot be displayed because
you need some fresh air

The page you are looking for is currently unavailable. Your ISP
has told us that you're on-line several hours every day, and that
just ain't right.

Please, for the love of god, try the following:

  • Don't click the Refresh button. Go outside now.

  • If you are about to spend another $100 at Amazon,
    then please contact Amazon Anonymous.

  • To go outside, first click the Cyber Hypnosis menu,
    and then click Cold Water in the Face. On the Numb
    tab, click Sedentary Back Pain. The Get Out of Your Chair settings should match those provided by
    your local area network (LAN) administrator.

  • If your Evil Computer Addict Persona has enabled it, we
    can examine your network and quickly discover a way
    to wake you up from your computer-induced stupor.

  • If you would like Windows to try and discover them,
    click  Detect Computer-Induced Stupor

  • There are a host of things awaiting you in the outside
    world: fishing, skiing, skeet shooting, triathalons, PTA
    meetings, and dentist appointments, for example.

  • If you are unable to get up, click here and your power
    strip will emit a large enough shock to scare you back
    to your senses. If that doesn't work, then we give up.
    You are officially in need of serious help. Dial 1-800-
    GET-HELP on your computer's keypad to reach a mental
    hospital near you.

  • Click the Back button to melt your computer

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