During lunch at work last week, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my wife seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call.
The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my sweet wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable! Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence, when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold revealing twelve dinner guests seated around the table. With their hands to their noses and tears in their eyes, they choked out the chorus... "Happy Birthday"...
The blurb below was posted in response to some comments about an article related the recent presidential election, in our local newspaper. I thought it was very good so I am reposting it here.
If you prayed for God to guide the election, and your candidate DIDN’T win, then three possible outcomes enter my mind:
1. There is no God.
2. There is a God and he doesn’t care who won or who you wanted to win.
3. He heard your prayers, and answered them, not with the politician you WANTED, but the ONE YOU NEEDED.
You know... Riding motorcycles can be pretty dangerous, from getting tired and losing focus to being distracted by your surroundings. My cousin shared the image below on FaceBook so I "borrowed" it so I can share it here. Thank you Kevin for your concern! This will solve both the problems I believe...
And don't be shy about it!!!