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Tuesday, 04 October 2011 01:50

Anthropomorphic Collective Nouns

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The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.

We are all familiar with a

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Herd of cows,

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a Flock of chickens,

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a School of fish

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and a Gaggle of geese.

However, less widely known is:

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a Pride of lions,

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a Murder of crows

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(as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens),

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an Exaltation of doves

and, presumably because they look so wise:

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a Parliament of owls.

Now consider a group of Baboons.

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They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates.

And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

?

?

Believe it or not ...... a Congress!

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A CONGRESS OF BABOONS!

I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington !

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You just can't make this stuff up.

Go green - Recycle Congress in 2012 !!!

Thanks Kathy! Laughing

Tuesday, 27 September 2011 02:34

Journey Called LIFE

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A mouse looked through the crack in the wall
to see the farmer and his wife open a package.
"What food might this contain?", the mouse wondered.
He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

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Retreating to the farmyard,
the mouse proclaimed this warning :
"There is a mousetrap in the house!
There is a mousetrap in the house!"

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The chicken clucked and scratched,
raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse,
I can tell this is a grave concern to you,
but it is of no consequence to me.
I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him,
"There is a mousetrap in the house!
There is a mousetrap in the house!"

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The pig sympathized, but said,
"I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse,
but there is nothing I can do about it
but pray.
Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said,
"There is a mousetrap in the house!
There is a mousetrap in the house!"

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The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you,
but it's no skin off my nose."

So, the mouse returned to the house,
head down and dejected,
to face the farmer's mousetrap
. . . Alone.. .. .

That very night
a sound was heard throughout the house
-- the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.

The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught.
In the darkness, she did not see it.
It was a venomous snake
whose tail was caught in the trap.

The snake bit the farmer's wife.

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The farmer rushed her to the hospital.

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When she returned home she still had a fever.
Everyone knows you treat a fever
with fresh chicken soup.
So the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard
for the soup's main ingredient:

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But his wife's sickness continued.
Friends and neighbors
came to sit with her
around the clock.
To feed them,
the farmer butchered the pig.

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But, alas,
the farmer's wife did not get well...
She died.

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So many people came for her funeral
that the farmer had the cow slaughtered
to provide enough meat for all of them
for the funeral luncheon.

And the mouse looked upon it all
from his crack in the wall
with great sadness.

So, the next time you hear
someone is facing a problem
and you think it doesn't concern you,
remember ---

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When one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.
We are all involved in this journey called life.
We must keep an eye out for one another
and make an extra effort
to encourage one another.

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YOU MAY WANT TO SEND THIS
TO EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER
HELPED YOU OUT...

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AND LET THEM KNOW
HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE.

- REMEMBER -

EACH OF US IS A VITAL THREAD
IN ANOTHER PERSON'S TAPESTRY.

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OUR LIVES ARE WOVEN TOGETHER
FOR A REASON.

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One of the best things to hold onto
In this world is a FRIEND.

 

Thanks Fran! Smile

Thursday, 22 September 2011 19:46

The Shredder

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the shredder

Thursday, 04 August 2011 22:45

Sand versus Stone

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friendsTWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT.
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE.

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND:

'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE'

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH.

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:

'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE'

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'

THE FRIEND REPLIED;
'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US,
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND
WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.

BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT'

!-

REMEMBER, WHEN PEOPLE HURT YOU
LEARN TO WRITE IT IN THE SAND.
WHEN PEOPLE ARE KIND TO YOU,
CARVE IT IN STONE.

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Thanks for this GEM Matt! Smile