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Layne Cope

I am a geek. A Windows geek to be exact. I do all things computer. I do like outdoor activities; camping, fishing, riding my hawg, etc. but I always gravitate back to the computer. In fact, between work, the biz and other stuff, if I am not on the 'puter for 14 - 16 hours a day, I feel deprived!

Thursday, 23 December 2010 23:49

TSA...

Scan or pat down. I thought it was pretty funny when somebody commented that if they opted for the pat down and liked it, could they get another?

Anyway, here are a few possible bumper stickers poking a little fun at the new security procedures... Thanks Tim! Laughing


 

 

TSA Bumper Snickers

 

Thursday, 23 December 2010 23:36

Stimulus Package

Here is another sent to me by a friend.

I think it is probably pretty close to the truth!


It is a slow day in the small town of Pumphandle and streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.

A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.

Money to BurnAs soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.

The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.

The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.

The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.

At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything... However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a "stimulus package" works.

 

Anyone else see the flaw in this scheme though??? By my guestimation, the hotel proprietor is still out a hundred bucks!!!!

Thursday, 16 December 2010 03:58

Sharksville, Atlantis

Okay, time for a little bit of self-deprecating humor...

This was another item in that box of stuff my mom sent home with us... It says "Layne 1979", so that would put me in 9th or 10th grade... Neither an artist nor a wordsmith am I!!!

NO MENSA FOR ME! Probably had 6 weeks to do the assignment and procrastinated until 10 minutes before class... Check it out!!! Wink

Great W. Shark

Thursday, 16 December 2010 00:56

The Marble Method

The best way to describe us as techs is the marble method.

Whenever you do a good deed or accomplish something grand in the IT world, you get a marble in your bucket.

As it fills with your accomplishments the bucket becomes heavy. But, when you mess up or miss a task the bottom falls out of the bucket and you find yourself the low life of the office. People talk behind our backs, the public stands with tar and feathers waiting for another mistake until you add back that first marble again then the tar turns to Chocolate.

"Computer Techs are the most loved or hated person on the staff depending on which minute it happens to be."


I received the bit of truth above from a friend. It is very appropriate for today and is very similar to the "Attaboy versus Ah Shit" thing my dad told me when I was growing up.

You know... It has been a pretty stressful and sad week this week. I have always tried to work hard and be helpful and empathetic to "users" everywhere I have worked in my 28 years in this career field. I am thankful and appreciate the opportunities and chance to learn which were provided by the folks at the Office of Public Instruction. I felt like I'd built up a pretty good reputation and earned some respect at the office for my hard work. I tried to brighten folks day and add a dash of humor when the world of technology seemed to be crumbling around them. Sometimes I was more successful than others... I know my friends, the people I made an effort to visit with, seemed to be pretty appreciative of me but I never really understood how many people appreciated my efforts until I submitted my resignation and took a different job.

I wish things would have worked out differently. I don't leave in search of a huge pay raise or anything like that. Job satisfaction is way more important to me than a stack of cash. If I was trying to get rich, I would not be working for the State in Montana... I like computers, I like helping people. I like to feel I am part of a team and can provide solutions for certain problems within my skill set. I feel like our "special team" has been benched at a crucial play in the game... Okay, it is difficult for me to generate a sports team analogy because I am such a geek I don't actively follow sports, so I will stop while I am ahead, tied, or not too far behind. Anyway, the day after I submitted my resignation I attended a communications class (see my INFP blog). I learned that people with my type of personality (I think it was the "F" part) are very loyal until our perceived values are breached. When our values are breached, we tend to move on. It was an "ah ha", "exactly", epiphany kind of moment. I glanced around the room and noticed several of the people there were looking at me with sad expressions when the instructor explained that about me/us. I can put up with a lot of stuff, and have with 22 years in the Air Force, but I lost my rose color classes and have to move on to other pastures for the time being. Sadly... I wish it weren't so.

To my friends who read this post... If you see me and I look happy to see you, then feel confident in the knowledge that you are not the reason I leave. I will miss working with 99% of the people I have worked with at the OPI including everyone in the Network Services Bureau. Several people have expressed concern about who will be able to do some of the things I have done. I have total confidence in the NSB team. Everyone there is very talented and at least as good at their job as I am. One of the nice things about being a geek for the OPI is the diversity of the things we get to do. The hard part of being a geek for the OPI is the diversity of the things we get to do. As with all things, you simply can't expect someone learning new skills to be as fast or accurate as someone who has an established skill set. Please have some patience with my old coworkers while they tie up the loose ends I left behind, get up to speed on some of the things I used to do, and while they add my old tasks to their normal work load.

I truly appreciate the outpouring of friendship and dismay that many of you have expressed at my departure. I think the OPI has a honorable mission - to give children the opportunity to learn - and someday I hope to return in one role or another. I will definitely see you around!

Your friend,

Layne

Sunday, 12 December 2010 05:08

Why we love children...

Here is another from a friend. Enjoy!

Laughing


1) NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'

3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.. She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITYlittle boy
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs... One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out...
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED AND FORGET IT

Saturday, 11 December 2010 17:53

Who'da thunk it?

Well, I have never really been much for statistics, however, my friend Tim Harris comes through again with an interesting video about health and wealth over the last couple hundred years. Check it out!

Saturday, 11 December 2010 17:23

iDevices

This was sent to me by a friend of mine. I could not resist posting it because I thought it was pretty funny.

Laughing

Of course, as a married man, I really think it is appalling! I promise I do!!! PROMISE!

 


 

It all began

with

an iPhone . . .

 

March was when

my son celebrated

his 15th birthday,

and I got him

an iPhone.

 

He just loved it.

Who wouldn't?

 

iPhone

 

I celebrated

my birthday in July,

and my wife made me

very happy when

she bought me

an iPad.

 

iPad

 

My daughter's birthday

was in August

so I got her an

iPodTouch.

 

iPod

 

September came by,

so for her birthday

i got my wife

an iRon.

 

iRon

 

It was around then

that the fight started . . .


 

 

I PROMISE!!! As proof, if you notice my profile, I am a Windows/Microsoft geek. I am totally APPALLED by any form of iPpliance!Tongue out

 

 

 

Saturday, 11 December 2010 17:10

The BIG bucks...

Some people may marvel at the seemingly easy things we, as geeks, do to earn our paycheck. Most of the time it seems like all we do is suggest a reboot. Okay, I admit that is the fix a surprising amount of the time and really ANYONE could suggest the old reboot fix.

So, why do we get the big money and why do people put up with all our wierdness and quirks? Perhaps it is because we have the bent/warped mind necessary to figure out instructions like these below...

How to install a hard drive

Or maybe it is a chicken versus egg argument... Maybe these sorts of instructions made us the way we are!?!?!?!?! Things that make me go HMMMMM....

Fortunately, a picture says at least 200 words in this computer case...

Laughing

Friday, 10 December 2010 04:03

Flashback!!!

 

Click for larger picture
To all the small statured angry men I have stumbled across in my life, sorry but the diminutive fella in the smokey bear hat in the front row is the meanest little guy I've ever met. On the other hand, I have met several small women even meaner...
Wink

 



So, last weekend Penny and I went to Boise to deliver Josh's old loft bed to my brother's son Joel. My mom had commented that she had a box of pics and stuff that she was going to send back with us. Well, low and behold, on top of that box of pictures was this picture. A picture of my graduating basic training "flight"; the group of guys I went through basic training with at Lackland AFB, Texas... WOW! Me thinks that is pretty cool so I thought I would share! That was a pivotal time in my life that helped to make me the FREAK I am today! hehehe By the way, I am third from the left on the top row. Thanks for keeping this picture for me mom!!! I had TOTALLY forgotten about it!

 

Twenty one years and eightish months later, in July 2004, this is the group I retired with at Offutt AFB, Nebraska... I appreciate the time and expense expended by this group to come to Omaha and celebrate this event with us. Thanks again EVERYONE! And thanks to everyone that WANTED to be there and couldn't make it. I know sometimes things just don't work out...

 

Click for larger picture
(L to R) Donna and Daryl Haub (inlaws), Jenel and Tracy Cope, Josh, Penny, Me, Tricia Cope (Mom), Dan, Chris and Stacia Cope

 

My actual retirement date was October 1st 2004 so my total military service ended up being something like 21 years, 11 months and 13 days... Not that I am counting...

United States Air ForceMaster Sergeant Patrick L. Cope, Retired

Friday, 10 December 2010 01:07

Geeking OUT!!!

Jeri Ellsworth and her body scannerA friend of mine - Tim Harris - directed me to this interesting article, "Bringing full-body scanning home for the holidays", on the Homeland Security Newswire web site. How can you NOT want to have a full-body scanner at the house? Not only that, it includes a link to a YouTUBE video by this young GENIUS woman named Jeri Ellsworth. She talks about how she made a scanner and uses cool geeky words like oscillator, circular polarization, down converted signals... I mean come on! How can you get any geekier than this? It is INCREDIBLE! Thanks Tim! Everyone else, check out this link... Don't forget to watch the video below for the full effect!

 

Wednesday, 08 December 2010 13:34

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Boyfriend 5.0Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail..

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate


Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

Husband 1.0However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7...

Good Luck!
Tech Support


P.S. Thanks to Matt for sending me this CLASSIC! I just had to add it for posterity!!!

Friday, 03 December 2010 01:39

INFP

Well, I must say. I stand corrected. I was dubious... VERY dubious about this communications class but I have to admit that I had a good time. The instructor was very entertaining and the people in the class got along well and made the day fun. SO, if you get the chance to take this class, I highly recommend it!

 

Thursday, 02 December 2010 03:44

Yippee!

yippee

Wednesday, 01 December 2010 04:34

The twists and turns of life.

So, after today, this song seems somehow appropriate to me, especially the chorus. Funny how the day can change from "Flirting with Disaster" to "Live This Life". HMMMM. The meaning of this post may become more clear over the next couple days when I am able to post more...

Tongue out


Met a man on the street last night
Said his name was Jesus
Met a man on the street last night
Thought he was crazy till I watched him heal a blind man
Watched him heal a blind man now I see

I live this life until this life won't let me live here anymore
Then I will walk yes I will walk
With patience through that open door
I have no fears, angels follow me wherever I may go
I live this life until this life won't let me live here anymore

Met a girl in a chair with wheels
But no one else would see her
Met a girl in a chair with wheels
Everyone was so afraid
To even look down on her
And she just spread her little wings and flew away yeah

I live this life until this life won't let me live here anymore
Then I will walk yes I will walk
With patience through that open door
Opportunity KnocksI have no fears, angels follow me wherever I may go
I live this life until this life won't let me live here anymore

Met a kid on a bridge last night
Contemplating freedom
Met a kid on a bridge last night
And he said
I'm tired of this maddening life
And I'm ready to go meet Jesus
And I said he's a friend of mine
Met him just last night
And it's alright
Yeah it's all right
Yeah

I live this life until this life won't let me live here anymore
Then I will walk yes I will walk
With patience through that open door
I have no fears, angels follow me wherever I may go
I live this life until this life won't let me live here anymore
Live here anymore

Met a man on the street last night
Said his name was Jesus
Met a man on the street last night

 


If you have not heard this song, it is from the album Horse of a Different Color by Big & Rich.

 

You know what??? Sometimes it seems like the door to opportunity just swings open and you have to walk through to see what is on the other side but don't forget to stop and look around once in a while so you don't miss what is really important.

 

 

 

Tuesday, 30 November 2010 15:07

Lyrics of the Day

Today is just one of those days. Heard the song below and it just seemed to represent today perfectly...

Foot in mouth


I'm travelin' down the road and I'm flirtin' with disaster
I've got the pedal to the floor and my life is running faster
I'm outta money outta hope it looks like self destruction
Well how much more can we take with all of this corruption

We're flirtin' with disaster, ya'll know what I mean
And the way we run our livesFlirting with Disaster it makes no sense to me
I don't know about yourself or what you wanna to be, yeah
When we gamble with our time we choose our destiny

I'm travelin' down that lonesome road.
Feel like I'm draggin a heavy load.
Yet I've tried to turn my head away,
Feel about the same most every day
You know what I'm talkin about man