FOR ALL THE WOMEN I KNOW WHO DRIVE ALONE!
I had a flat tire on the 394 yesterday ; so, I pulled over, got out of the car and opened my trunk.
I took out my cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe it!
Just as I had hoped, cars started slowing down looking at the men which made it much safer for me to work on the side of the road.
People honked and waved, and it wasn't long before a police car pulled up behind me.
He wanted to know what the heck I was doing so I calmly explained that I was changing my flat. He told me he could see that, but demanded to know what the heck my cardboard men were doing standing at the rear of my car.
I couldn't believe he didn't know! So I told him ...
Well, I explained to the angry Policeman ...
They're my Emergency Flashers!!!!
I go to court in January.
(Damn Police. No sense of humor.)
Here is a good story sent to me by another friend...
My wife and I went to the Liberty County agricultural show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
' This bull mated 50 times last year. '
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs... Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
' This bull mated 150 times last year. '
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW!! That's more than twice a week ! ...You could learn a lot from him.'
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
' THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR! '
My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day ...You could REALLY learn something from this one.'
I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'
My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.