What is Celibacy?
Celibacy can be a choice in life or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend In 1994, Dave and his wife Regina, listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He then addressed the men. "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Dave leaned over, touched Regina's arm gently and whispered, "Gold Medal-All-Purpose, Isn't it?"
And thus began Dave's life of celibacy.
Now you know why I'm so grumpy most of the time.
A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun,the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'
'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'
'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?'
'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.
'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?
APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE THAT EXPRESSES A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH.
1. The nicest thing about the future is . . . that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important. . .because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.
10. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - like, it could be the right number.
11. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
12. Be careful about reading the fine print. . . . there's no way you're going to like it.
13. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
14. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
15. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo.
16. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . . . and the ones that mind don't matter.
17. Life isn't tied with a bow . . . . . . . . but it's still a gift.
May you always have enough!
Pilot Father's Tough Love
Most people nowadays think it improper to discipline children harshly, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have had one of 'those moments.'
Since I'm a pilot, one way that I have found very effective is for me to just take the child for a flight during which I say nothing and give the child the opportunity to reflect on his or her behavior.
I don't know whether it's the steady vibration from the engines, the beauty of being in the air, or just the time away from any distractions, but it seems to always work. Whatever it is, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our flight together.
I believe that eye to eye contact during these sessions is an important element in achieving the desired results.
I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique...
SHOULD WORK WITH GRANDKIDS ALSO